Processing your old traumatic memories

Facing and Defeating your Emotional Dragons:

How to process old traumas, and eliminate undigested pain from your past experience

~~~

Updated: 13th June 2019

drjim-counsellor9Hello, and welcome to this page of information which is intended for self-help enthusiasts who want to have a go at cleaning up their own traumatic experiences – from difficult childhoods, or from later traumas, or highly stressful experiences.

Post-traumatic stress (PTSD) is probably best addressed in counselling and psychotherapy.  However, since many individuals cannot afford therapy, or the amount of therapy required to address their deep-seated problems – and some people are not well placed, psychologically, to attend therapy sessions – it is worth considering the possibility of a self-help approach, using writing therapy, or journal writing.

There are some classic cases in which this approach worked very well – even though many professionals warn against using writing therapy if you are depressed or suffering from PTSD.  Here are some examples that I cited in another of my books on writing therapy:

# A former soldier, who lives out of a shopping trolley, and survives by sleeping rough on the streets of San Francisco, heals his wartime traumas by writing in a journal for a period of months.  (Mulligan, 1997).

# A woman who is severely depressed, and stuck at home with a two-year-old child, cures her major depression by writing about previously denied emotional pain.  (Schiffman, 1972).

# A college lecturer processes the stresses and strains of working in an unreasonably intense and high pressure teaching situation, for decades, by digesting her daily experiences in her journal.  (See my book, How to Write a New Life for Yourself, 2018).

# A creative author writes about his childhood trauma, and converts it into a novel, while also learning to feel more secure and more loving and more fulfilled in his life. (See my book, How to Write a New Life for Yourself, 2018).

# The creator of Harry Potter (J.K. Rowling) was on social security, stuck at home with a young child, and suffering from severe depression, when she began to write her Harry Potter books.  She attributes her overcoming depression to this writing work.

# A professor of psychology at Southern Methodist University in Dallas, Texas, turns to writing to overcome the pain of depression, and discovers that it not only improves his mood and emotions, but also his immune functioning (as scientifically measured!) – and this gave rise to the Pennebaker Method of writing therapy, (which is discussed in page 159 of Levy and Monte, 1997).

~~~

In this new book, I have presented two powerful processes for recovering from serious problems driven by buried traumas. Those two processes are: re-framing of experience; and ‘completing/ digesting’ those earlier experiences.  This book contains detailed guidance about how to manage both processes for yourself.  (And some counsellors and psychologists may want to learn these processes, in order to help their own clients).

whole cover, dragons

Available from Amazon in two formats: Kindle eBook and paperback:

1. Here are the links to the Kindle eBook:

Amazon.com, US+ Amazon UK + Irl Amazon Germany
Amazon Spain Amazon Italy Amazon Netherlands
Amazon Japan Amazon Brazil Amazon Canada
Amazon Mexico Amazon Australia Amazon India

~~~

2. Or get your paperback copy from one of the following Amazon outlets:

Amazon USA + Amazon UK/Irl Amazon Germany
Amazon France Amazon Spain Amazon Italy
Amazon Japan    

~~~

On this page, I will present you with some basic information extracted from this new book, which I hope you find interesting and helpful.  Here is the title page information:

Facing and Defeating your Emotional Dragons:

How to process old traumas, and eliminate undigested pain from your past experience

By

Jim Byrne, Doctor of Counselling

~~~

Copyright © Jim Byrne, 2016-2019:

Published by the Institute for E-CENT Publications, 27 Wood End, Keighley Road, Hebden Bridge, West Yorkshire, UK.  In cooperation with KDP-Amazon.

Originally published in 2016.

Reissued in slightly modified form in January 2019.

~~~

And here is the Foreword, in full:

Foreword

front cover, dragonsThis book is designed to help the reader to resolve their current emotional disturbances (such as Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder; or serious phobias) which are driven by old, painful, undigested experiences. Those old experiences are often called trauma; or unusually distressing experiences.

This book is also intended to be helpful for counsellors and therapists who want to learn how to do this kind of work with their own clients.

Although many people go to see a counsellor or psychotherapist for this purpose, not everybody can afford those kinds of services. Hence this self-help book.

The author describes two processes which were developed as part of the core of Emotive-Cognitive Embodied Narrative Therapy (E-CENT).  However, they both need to be supported by healthy approaches to diet and exercise!

The first process is a way to reinterpret (or re-frame, or re-think) any experience – including our difficult past experiences which were too horrible to confront when they happened, way back in our childhood or early life.  These experiences are what we call the ‘emotional dragons’, or ‘undigested traumatic experiences’.

The second process is a way to digest and dissolve those ‘dragons’ so that they can disappear from your life, and no longer cause you any problems in the present moment.

front cover, dragonsAlert: It is crucially important that the re-framing process is mastered before any attempt is made to dig up potentially traumatizing, buried experiences!

These two processes are illustrated via some interesting case study material from E-CENT counselling. And there are appendices on:

# How to rate your emotional problems accurately;

# How we use Gradual Desensitization to help counselling and therapy clients to slowly and gradually approach their more difficult problems;

# How to use writing therapy to process old traumatic memories.

Plus:

# Helpful guidelines for the use of diet and exercise to manage your emotional problems.

In addition, there are

# Some insights into the kinds of (relatively permanent) ‘personality adaptations’ that children make to their family of origins. And:

# Some problem-solving and decision making strategies.

The reader will come away from this book with an arsenal of insights, ideas, and techniques to help them heal their undigested emotional traumas from the past.

front cover, dragonsOf course, if you can do this work with the support of a counsellor or therapist, all the better.  But if you do it alone, make sure you proceed slowly and carefully.  Do not ‘flood yourself’ with too much painful information too soon, or too quickly.  And make sure you master the Six Window Model before you begin to dig for buried traumas.

~~~

Dr Jim Byrne, Doctor of Counselling

Hebden Bridge, January 2019

~~~

Available from Amazon in two formats: Kindle eBook and paperback:

Here are the links to the Kindle eBook:

Amazon.com, US+ Amazon UK + Irl Amazon Germany
Amazon Spain Amazon Italy Amazon Netherlands
Amazon Japan Amazon Brazil Amazon Canada
Amazon Mexico Amazon Australia Amazon India

~~~

2. Or get your paperback copy from one of the following Amazon outlets:

Amazon USA + Amazon UK/Irl Amazon Germany
Amazon France Amazon Spain Amazon Italy
Amazon Japan    

~~~

The Preface begins like this:

Part 1 – Defining and describing the concept of ‘emotional dragons’

Introduction

When negative feelings come up in the human body-brain-mind, the individual noticing them is prone to push them away.  Humans hate suffering, and they most often will actively try to bury any hint of suffering that enters their consciousness.

When serious emotional disturbances are buried in the non-conscious part of the brain-mind, they tend to cause mysterious emotional and physical disturbances, which cannot be treated – because the true cause is inaccessible.

On the other hand, part of the process of meditation is to allow whatever comes into your body-brain-mind to just be there, like a crow flying through an open barn.

front cover, dragonsPerhaps this is why meditation has not become a widespread practice in the West. Many people have been attracted to Eastern disciplines: imported from India or China or Japan.  But the idea of just sitting there – with your mind accepting its own contents – probably shows up as too much like suffering for ‘spiritual materialists’, who just want to have ‘a good time’, right now, and forever!

Meditating on emotional dragons

Almost every morning, since 1980, after breakfast, I sit down and meditate (sometimes with my wife, Renata; and sometimes on my own).  I am not a masochist.  I am not trying to give myself a hard time.  Indeed, the reverse is the truth.  I am willing to face up to whatever comes up, because I know that that will, paradoxically, make my life better, happier, calmer, and more centred and grounded, in the longer term.

(Of course, immediately after meditation, we tend to do some Chinese exercises. The meditation calms the body-brain-mind through what seems to be mainly ‘mind’, while the physical exercise calms the body-brain-mind through what seems to be mainly ‘body’.  But in practice, both processes address the whole body-brain-mind!)

One of our practices is to read a Zen quotation before meditation, to establish a particular kind of ‘mind set’, or mental attitude.

One such quotation, by Rainer Maria Rilke, (from a book by Josh Baran, 2003) is about ‘Transforming Dragons’.

front cover, dragonsHere is an extract from that quotation:

“So you mustn’t be frightened … if a sadness rises in front of you, larger than any you have ever seen; if an anxiety, like light and cloud-shadows, moves over your hands and over everything you do.  You must realize that something is happening to you, that life has not forgotten you, that it holds you in its hand and will not let you fall.  Why do you want to shut out of your life any uneasiness, any misery, any depression, since after all you don’t know what work these conditions are doing inside of you?” (Rilke, in Baran, 2003).

~~~

Transforming dragons with courage

These emotional disturbances (of anxiety and depression) are what Rilke is referring to when he mentions ‘dragons’; and his argument is that you can transform those dragons into ‘something helpless’, something benign, if you are willing to face them directly, which he describes as acting, just once, “with beauty and courage!”

Most of us find it hard to muster our courage, mainly because courage is often confused with the idea of fearlessness.  However, the truth is that you cannot act courageously unless you are frightened or apprehensive.   But most of us do not want to face up to fear, and therefore we do not use our capacity for courage; our capacity to face our fears and do what is right, rather than what is ‘safe’!

We find, in practice, from an early age, that the virtue of courage is in short supply in our arsenal, or in our took-kit.  We find it easier to run away; or at least to try to run away.  But you cannot actually run away from anxious feelings in your guts, or depressed feelings in your heart. You cannot run away from the actual details of your past experiences.  Your past is cut and dried! You can try, and often succeed, to hide your feelings and unwanted experiences from your immediate awareness, but they are still present, below the level of conscious awareness, causing various problems for you.

front cover, dragonsI once read that Rilke quotation about dragons to one of my long-term clients – let’s call him Alex – but he immediately insisted that his feelings of anxiety were “not doing any work” inside of him.  He just wanted them to go.  He would never accept them.

That attitude illustrates not only Alex’s lack of courage, in trying to run away from his own agitated guts and lungs; but it also illustrates how little is known, by people in general, about the non-conscious nature of their body-mind.  How could Alex know that his anxious feelings were not doing some kind of valuable work within him (if only he would pay attention to them)?  Where would he ‘look’ in order to collect the necessary information?

No such ‘place’ exists.  The human body-mind is largely non-conscious, and we cannot ‘look inside’ to see what is going on.  We have to approach that quest indirectly, slowly, and more by inference than insight.

However, Alex did not want to engage with his ‘emotional dragons’.

~~~

Available from Amazon in two formats: Kindle eBook and paperback:

Here are the links to the Kindle eBook:

Amazon.com, US+ Amazon UK + Irl Amazon Germany
Amazon Spain Amazon Italy Amazon Netherlands
Amazon Japan Amazon Brazil Amazon Canada
Amazon Mexico Amazon Australia Amazon India

~~~

2. Or get your paperback copy from one of the following Amazon outlets:

Amazon USA + Amazon UK/Irl Amazon Germany
Amazon France Amazon Spain Amazon Italy
Amazon Japan    

~~~

Humans as non-conscious habit machines

Most people I meet are unaware of just how non-conscious we humans happen to be.  We are by nature deluded by our senses – and especially our sense of sight – into thinking we are constantly conscious of what is going on all around us.  But this common sense intuition is not supported by significant psychological research studies.

There is a lot of research that supports the idea that we actually must be largely non-conscious creatures of habit.

Firstly, we do not have a sufficiently large bandwidth of signal processing capability to process more than about one millionth of the data we process every second.

front cover, dragonsSecondly, there is research which shows that we have both conscious goals and non-conscious goals, and that our non-conscious goals are most often more powerful and more decisive than our conscious goals.  (Think of the conscious goals you set on New Year’s Eve [as New Year Resolutions], and the speed with which you return to pursuing your non-conscious goals, which have controlled you during the previous year [and more]!)

Thirdly, we know that if you were to try to consciously control getting out of bed tomorrow, and consciously running your day, you would never succeed in deciding which muscle in which leg you should move first; how to move it; where to move it; etc.

You would struggle for a long time to figure out, consciously, how to tie your shoe laces.  “Left over right?  Right over left?  Fold it how?  Where?”

Fourthly, we already know that, if you are a car driver, who drives to work, then you often arrive at work with no conscious recollection of how you got there.  The non-conscious centres of your brain-mind-body managed the entire process, based on habit and non-conscious processing of incoming visual signals from your non-consciously controlled eyes!

And we know that the ‘attachment style’ that you show in your key relationships today are mirror images of the attachment relationships you had with your mother and father, and they had with their mothers and fathers.  All passed down through the generations, non-consciously, and through the formation of demonstrated (or modelled) relationship habits.

~~~

The urge to repress emotional pain

front cover, dragonsAlex’s unwillingness to stay with his pain is not uncommon.  We all tend to do this to some extent or other.

I became aware of this process in myself when I began to write my Story of Origins – (Reference: Byrne, 2009c, E-CENT paper No.4).  It took me a long time to ‘fish up’ some key memories, with bruised emotions attached; and to use those clues to build plausible stories of surrounding events and ‘realities’.

In moving on to write about the life of Daniel O’Beeve – which is a heavily fictionalized autobiographical novel – I discovered the mechanism of ‘repression’ of painful emotional trauma, when I was describing Daniel, at the age of 19 years, being rejected by the girl he loved.  In exploring the imagery of that night, and the subsequent twenty-four hours, I discovered that Daniel could only recover from this devastating experience by doing what he had previously done with his unrequited love relationship with his mother, and other little romantic fantasies of his early teens.  He locked them in steel cabinets in the basement of his mind, from which they could not cause him conscious emotional distress.  But the cost to him was that he was now driven – from conscious levels of mind – to be avoidant of females, lest they hurt him again (his non-conscious goal) – while at the same time he consciously pursued the goal of getting a date, getting a kiss, or getting into a deeper and warmer relationship with a young woman.  But the non-conscious goal was always going to be the stronger, and so he walked alone through the world, feeling the lack of the one thing he was non-consciously committed to avoiding!

And just in case you think I might have made up that process – and that nobody else has ever discovered this process in their own mind – let me present an example from the writing of Hanya Yanagihara.  In her book about the life of Jude St Francis – a dreadfully abused boy/man, who was thrown out with the garbage by his mother, when he was very young (days? or weeks? old).  He was ‘rescued’ by somebody from a monastery where a group of monks and at least one priest lived.  They decided to raise him, and in the process they subjected him to dreadful physical, verbal, emotional and sexual abuse.

front cover, dragonsHow did Jude deal with these dreadful, almost unbearable ‘emotional dragons’?  Yanagihara presents the following reflections by Jude, when he is about forty years old:

“There are two ways of forgetting.  For many years, he had envisioned (unimaginatively) a vault, and at the end of the day, he would gather the images and sequences and words that he didn’t want to think about again, and open the heavy steel door only enough to hurry them inside, closing it quickly and tightly.”  (Page 389).

However, this did not work very well, as they kept seeping out!

… End of extract.

For more, please buy your copy of this book here:

Available from Amazon in two formats: Kindle eBook and paperback:

Here are the links to the Kindle eBook:

Amazon.com, US+ Amazon UK + Irl Amazon Germany
Amazon Spain Amazon Italy Amazon Netherlands
Amazon Japan Amazon Brazil Amazon Canada
Amazon Mexico Amazon Australia Amazon India

~~~

2. Or get your paperback copy from one of the following Amazon outlets:

Amazon USA + Amazon UK/Irl Amazon Germany
Amazon France Amazon Spain Amazon Italy
Amazon Japan    

~~~

Contents

Foreword. xi

Part 1 – Defining and describing the concept of ‘emotional dragons’ 1

Introduction. 1

Meditating on emotional dragons. 1

Transforming dragons with courage. 2

Humans as non-conscious habit machines. 3

The urge to repress emotional pain. 4

Denial does not work. 6

The dragons of childhood. 7

Two processes to get beyond denial and repression. 8

Primary and secondary problems in counselling and therapy. 9

Other elements of this book. 9

Learning activities. 10

…continued below…

~~~

This book is available from Amazon in two formats: Kindle eBook and paperback:

Here are the links to the Kindle eBook:

Amazon.com, US+ Amazon UK + Irl Amazon Germany
Amazon Spain Amazon Italy Amazon Netherlands
Amazon Japan Amazon Brazil Amazon Canada
Amazon Mexico Amazon Australia Amazon India

~~~

2. Or get your paperback copy from one of the following Amazon outlets:

Amazon USA + Amazon UK/Irl Amazon Germany
Amazon France Amazon Spain Amazon Italy
Amazon Japan    

~~~

Part 2 – The case of Sarah Cowan. 13

Meeting Sarah. 13

Sarah’s personality adaptation. 14

The suicidal opt-out 15

The internal civil war. 17

Email counselling exchange. 17

The good and bad sides of humans. 20

Moral rules are real, but not universally observed. 22

Learning activities. 23

… continued below …

~~~

This book is available from Amazon in two formats: Kindle eBook and paperback:

Here are the links to the Kindle eBook:

Amazon.com, US+ Amazon UK + Irl Amazon Germany
Amazon Spain Amazon Italy Amazon Netherlands
Amazon Japan Amazon Brazil Amazon Canada
Amazon Mexico Amazon Australia Amazon India

~~~

2. Or get your paperback copy from one of the following Amazon outlets:

Amazon USA + Amazon UK/Irl Amazon Germany
Amazon France Amazon Spain Amazon Italy
Amazon Japan    

~~~

Part 3 – How to ‘reframe’ your dragons from the past. 25

Defining, describing and justifying this approach. 25

Illustrating the effects of frames. 26

The Mind Hut Model 27

The Six Windows Model 28

  1. Life is difficult. 28
  2. Realistic picking and choosing. 30
  3. The difficult and the non-difficult. 32
  4. Life could be worse than this. 33
  5. What you can and cannot control 34

Table 1: The controllable and the uncontrollable. 35

  1. What can we learn from suffering. 36

Learning activities. 37

… continued below …

~~~

This book is available from Amazon in two formats: Kindle eBook and paperback:

Here are the links to the Kindle eBook:

Amazon.com, US+ Amazon UK + Irl Amazon Germany
Amazon Spain Amazon Italy Amazon Netherlands
Amazon Japan Amazon Brazil Amazon Canada
Amazon Mexico Amazon Australia Amazon India

~~~

2. Or get your paperback copy from one of the following Amazon outlets:

Amazon USA + Amazon UK/Irl Amazon Germany
Amazon France Amazon Spain Amazon Italy
Amazon Japan    

~~~

Part 4 – Completing and digesting your old, traumatic experiences, perceptions and painful emotions 39

Preamble. 39

Re-framing of experience. 40

Completion of experience. 41

Resisting reality or coming to terms with it….. 43

Defining “completion”. 44

The Gestalt perspective. 46

The Freudian perspective. 49

The map and the territory. 52

We are problem solvers. 55

Completing your experience is painful, but it is less painful than denying it 57

Could ‘completion’ harm you?. 58

Summing up of Part 4. 60

Learning activities. 62

… continued below …

~~~

This book is available from Amazon in two formats: Kindle eBook and paperback:

Here are the links to the Kindle eBook:

Amazon.com, US+ Amazon UK + Irl Amazon Germany
Amazon Spain Amazon Italy Amazon Netherlands
Amazon Japan Amazon Brazil Amazon Canada
Amazon Mexico Amazon Australia Amazon India

~~~

2. Or get your paperback copy from one of the following Amazon outlets:

Amazon USA + Amazon UK/Irl Amazon Germany
Amazon France Amazon Spain Amazon Italy
Amazon Japan    

~~~

Part 5 – Conclusion. 65

Defining the problem.. 65

The breakdown of repression and denial 66

Repression and denial do not work! 67

Reframing. 68

The process of completion. 68

Finale. 71

… continued below …

~~~

This book is available from Amazon in two formats: Kindle eBook and paperback:

Here are the links to the Kindle eBook:

Amazon.com, US+ Amazon UK + Irl Amazon Germany
Amazon Spain Amazon Italy Amazon Netherlands
Amazon Japan Amazon Brazil Amazon Canada
Amazon Mexico Amazon Australia Amazon India

~~~

2. Or get your paperback copy from one of the following Amazon outlets:

Amazon USA + Amazon UK/Irl Amazon Germany
Amazon France Amazon Spain Amazon Italy
Amazon Japan    

~~~

References 73

Appendix A: Keeping a Writing Therapy Journal 79

A1 – Initial guidelines. 80

A2 – Focus on cause, effect and feelings. 82

A3 – The Pennebaker scientific tradition. 82

A4 – A precise guideline. 83

A5 – How negative should you be?. 83

A6 – Further clarification. 85

How it works. 85

The benefits. 86

Self-observation. 86

Appendix B: How to rate your problems appropriately. 89

… continued below …

~~~

This book is available from Amazon in two formats: Kindle eBook and paperback:

Here are the links to the Kindle eBook:

Amazon.com, US+ Amazon UK + Irl Amazon Germany
Amazon Spain Amazon Italy Amazon Netherlands
Amazon Japan Amazon Brazil Amazon Canada
Amazon Mexico Amazon Australia Amazon India

~~~

2. Or get your paperback copy from one of the following Amazon outlets:

Amazon USA + Amazon UK/Irl Amazon Germany
Amazon France Amazon Spain Amazon Italy
Amazon Japan    

~~~

B.1 Introduction. 89

B.2 Really big problems, and apparently big problems. 90

B.3 Exaggerating the extent of your problems. 91

B.4 The historical aspects. 91

B.5 Let’s sharpen the focus on this problem.. 92

B.6 Your feelings about your feelings. 92

B.7 Just how bad is your problem anyway?. 93

Table B1: The RUDE Scale: Just how bad is it?. 95

B.8 Trackback. 98

… continued below …

~~~

This book is available from Amazon in two formats: Kindle eBook and paperback:

Here are the links to the Kindle eBook:

Amazon.com, US+ Amazon UK + Irl Amazon Germany
Amazon Spain Amazon Italy Amazon Netherlands
Amazon Japan Amazon Brazil Amazon Canada
Amazon Mexico Amazon Australia Amazon India

~~~

2. Or get your paperback copy from one of the following Amazon outlets:

Amazon USA + Amazon UK/Irl Amazon Germany
Amazon France Amazon Spain Amazon Italy
Amazon Japan    

~~~

Appendix C: Personality Adaptations 99

Abstract 99

Preface. 100

Introduction. 100

The REBT and TA perspectives on thought/feeling/action. 102

(1) REBT. 102

(2) Transactional Analysis (TA) 103

Introduction to Personality Adaptations….. 104

Joines and Stewart’s theory of Personality Adaptations. 105

The Assessing Matrix. 106

Figure C1: Illustration of the active-passive and involving-withdrawing matrix. 106

Identity Janet’s “T-F-B style”. 107

Additional case studies. 108

(1) Steven. 108

(2) Kevin. 111

(3) Jonty. 113

(4) Tanya. 114

Conclusion. 115

Attachment One: The underpinnings of Joines and Stewart’s theory. 115

Attachment Two: The Assessing Matrix for the Six Adaptations. 117

Attachment Three: The B-T-F Type. 118

Attachment Four: The B-F-T Pattern. 121

Attachment Five: The T-F-B Type. 121

… continued below …

~~~

This book is available from Amazon in two formats: Kindle eBook and paperback:

Here are the links to the Kindle eBook:

Amazon.com, US+ Amazon UK + Irl Amazon Germany
Amazon Spain Amazon Italy Amazon Netherlands
Amazon Japan Amazon Brazil Amazon Canada
Amazon Mexico Amazon Australia Amazon India

~~~

2. Or get your paperback copy from one of the following Amazon outlets:

Amazon USA + Amazon UK/Irl Amazon Germany
Amazon France Amazon Spain Amazon Italy
Amazon Japan    

~~~

Appendix D: Managing anxiety with diet and exercise. 123

Extracts from ‘Holistic Counselling in Practice’ 123

Anxiety: 123

Practical strategies for managing anxiety. 124

Anxiety management: The impact of diet and nutrition. 126

Anxiety management: How anxiety can be reduced by exercise: 128

… continued below …

~~~

This book is available from Amazon in two formats: Kindle eBook and paperback:

Here are the links to the Kindle eBook:

Amazon.com, US+ Amazon UK + Irl Amazon Germany
Amazon Spain Amazon Italy Amazon Netherlands
Amazon Japan Amazon Brazil Amazon Canada
Amazon Mexico Amazon Australia Amazon India

~~~

2. Or get your paperback copy from one of the following Amazon outlets:

Amazon USA + Amazon UK/Irl Amazon Germany
Amazon France Amazon Spain Amazon Italy
Amazon Japan    

~~~

Appendix E: Problem solving strategies 131

Problem solving. 131

(a) First approach: Think on paper. 131

(b) Second approach: The Skilled Helper model 131

(c) Third approach: The WDEP model 132

(d) The fourth approach: The Six Thinking Hats. 133

A review of the Windows Model 134

Window No.5: “Some suffering can be controlled and some cannot”. 134

Window No.1: “Life is frustrating, difficult, and often involves suffering for all humans, much of the time”. 134

Window No.2: “Life is (normally) without (insurmountable) difficulty, if we can avoid picking and choosing”. 135

Window No.3: “Life is both difficult and non-difficult”. 136

Window No.4: “Almost any difficulty could always be very much worse”. 137

Window No.6: “If life is a school, what could your current adversity be teaching you?”  137

… continued below …

~~~

This book is available from Amazon in two formats: Kindle eBook and paperback:

Here are the links to the Kindle eBook:

Amazon.com, US+ Amazon UK + Irl Amazon Germany
Amazon Spain Amazon Italy Amazon Netherlands
Amazon Japan Amazon Brazil Amazon Canada
Amazon Mexico Amazon Australia Amazon India

~~~

2. Or get your paperback copy from one of the following Amazon outlets:

Amazon USA + Amazon UK/Irl Amazon Germany
Amazon France Amazon Spain Amazon Italy
Amazon Japan    

~~~

Appendix F: The E-CENT Desensitization Process 139

F.1 Introduction. 139

Figure F1 – The E-CENT hierarchy of traumatic experiences. 140

F.2 A case illustration. 141

  1. Progressive relaxation. 142
  2. Rational Emotive Imagery. 142
  3. The Havening process. 142

…End of Contents Pages.

~~~

References

Adams, G. (2011) Therapy can drive you mad, says study on 9/11 counselling.  The Independent, Saturday 30th July.

Aster, A.Z. (2009) Beyond the debriefing debate: Providing appropriate care after chaos. Centre for Addiction and Mental Health.  Available online: http://tinyurl.com/3w39be5. Accessed: 16th August 2011.

Baikie, K.A., and Wilhelm, K. (2005) Emotional and physical health benefits of expressive writing.  Advances in Psychiatric Treatment, 11: 338-346.

Baran, J. (2003) 365 Nirvana: Here and now. London: Element Books.

Bolton, G. (1998) Writing or pills: therapeutic writing in primary care. In C. Hunt and F. Sampson (eds) The Self on the Page: Theory and Practice of Creative Writing in Personal Development.  London: Jessica Kingsley.

Bolton, G. (1999a) The Therapeutic Potential of Creative Writing – Writing Myself.  London: Jessica Kingsley.

Bolton, G. (1996b) Every poem breaks a silence that had to be overcome: the therapeutic power of poetry writing.  Feminist Review, 62:  118-132.

Bolton, G. and Wright, J.K. (2004) Conclusions and Looking Forward.  In: Bolton, G., Howlett, S., Lago, C. and Wright, J.K. (eds.) Writing Cures: an introductory handbook of writing in counselling and therapy.  Hove, East Sussex: Brunner-Routledge.

Bolton, G., Allan, H. and Drucquer, H. (2004) Writing for reflective practice.  In: Bolton, G., Howlett, S., Lago, C. and Wright, J.K. (eds.) Writing Cures: an introductory handbook of writing in counselling and therapy.  Hove, East Sussex: Brunner-Routledge.

Bolton, R. (1979) People Skills: how to assert yourself, listen to others, and resolve conflicts.  Englewood Cliffs, NJ: Prentice-Hall, Inc.

Bry, A. (1976) EST: 60 Hours that Transform your Life.  New York: Avon Books.

Buss, A.H. and Plomin, R. (1975) A temperament theory of personality.  New York: Wiley.

Byrne, J. (2009a) The ‘Individual’ and its Social Relationships – The E-CENT Perspective.  E-CENT Paper No.9.  Hebden Bridge: The Institute for E-CENT.

Byrne, J. (2009b) An introduction to the ‘Six Windows Model’ of E-CENT.  E-CENT Paper No.3.  Hebden Bridge: The Institute for E-CENT.

Byrne, J. (2009c) A journey through models of mind.  The story of my personal origins.  E-CENT Paper No.4.  Hebden Bridge: The Institute for E-CENT.

Byrne, J. (2010) The Story of Relationship: Or coming to terms with my mother (and father).  E-CENT Paper No.10.  Hebden Bridge: The Institute for E-CENT.

Byrne, J. (2011) Completing your experience of difficult events, perceptions and painful emotions.  E-CENT Paper No.13.  Hebden Bridge: The Institute for Emotive-Cognitive Embodied Narrative Therapy.

Byrne, J.W. with Taylor-Byrne, R.E. (2016) Holistic Counselling in Practice: An introduction to E-CENT counselling.  Hebden Bridge: The Institute for E-CENT Publications.

Byrne, J.W. (2017a) Daniel O’Beeve’s Amazing Journey: From traumatic origins to transcendent love.  Hebden Bridge: The Institute for E-CENT Publications.

Byrne, J.W. (2017b) How to Write a New Life for Yourself: Narrative therapy and the writing solution. Hebden Bridge: The Institute for E-CENT Publications.

Byrne, J.W. (2016c) Healing the Heart and Mind: Two examples of writing therapy stories, plus reflective analysis. NTS eBook No.2.  Hebden Bridge: The Institute for E-CENT Publications.

Cameron, J. (1992) The Artist’s Way: a spiritual path to higher creativity.  London: Souvenir Books.

Carnegie, D. (1984) How to Stop Worrying and Start Living.  New York: Simon and Schuster.

Clinard, H.H. (1985) Winning Ways to Succeed With people.  Houston, Texas: Gulf Publishing.

Damasio, A.R. (1994) Descartes’ Error: Emotion, Reason, and the Human Brain.  New York; Putnam.

Ellis, A. (1962) Reason and Emotion in Psychotherapy.  New York: Lyle Stuart.

Esterling, B.A., L’Abate, L., Murray, E.J. and Pennebaker, J.W. (1999) Empirical foundations for writing in prevention and psychotherapy: mental and physical health outcomes.  Clinical Psychology Review, 19(1):  79-96.

Freud, S. (1910/1962) Two Short Accounts of Psycho-Analysis.  Harmondsworth, Middlesex: Penguin Books.  Page 116.

Jeffers, S.J. (1988) Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway. Fawcett Columbine.

Joines, V. and Stewart, I. (2002) Personality Adaptations: A new guide to human understanding in psychotherapy and counselling.  Nottingham: Lifespace Publishing.

Kahler, T. (1972) Predicting academic underachievement in ninth and twelfth grade males with the Kahler transactional analysis script checklist.  Dissertation, Purdue University.

Kahler, T. (1982) Personality pattern inventory validation studies.  Little Rock: Kahler Communications, Inc.

Kahler, T. (2000) The mastery of management (4th ed). Little Rock: Kahler Communications, Inc.

Kahler, T. (Date unknown) The Process Model: Personality types, miniscripts and adaptations. A downloadable PDF paper, available online: http://www.pcmoceania.com/library/testimonials/documents/The%20process%20model%20-%20Taibi%20Kahler.pdf – Downloaded: 2nd April 2015.  (Most of Kahler’s papers were published in the 1970s and 80s; but a book version of this paper was published, and is available on Amazon, in 2008).

Kashdan, T. and Biswas-Diener, R. (2015) The Power of Negative Emotion: How anger, guilt and self-doubt are essential to success and fulfilment. London: Oneworld Publications.

Keirsey, D. and Bates, M. (1984) Please Understand Me: Character and temperament types. Fifth edition. Del Mar, CA: Prometheus Nemesis Book Company.

Le Doux, J. (1996). The Emotional Brain: the mysterious underpinnings of emotional life. New York: Simon and Schuster.

Macdonald, H. (2014) H is for Hawk.  London: Jonathan Cape.

Miller, T. (1993) Self-Discipline and Emotional Control: How to stay calm and productive under pressure. Evansville, Indiana: A CareerTrack Seminar (audio program).

Millon, T. (1981) Disorders of the personality.  New York: John Wiley and Sons.

Myers, Isabel Briggs with Peter B. Myers (1995) [1980]. Gifts Differing: Understanding Personality Type. Mountain View, CA: Davies-Black Publishing.

Osborn, C. (1997) Solved by Sunset: How to solve a problem in 24 hours or less.  London: Vista/Cassell.

Peck, M. S. (1998) The Road Less Travelled: A new psychology of love, traditional values and spiritual growth.  London: Arrow Books.

Pennebaker, J.W. (1990) Opening Up: the healing power of confiding in others.  New York: Avon Books.

Pennebaker, J.W. (ed) (1995) Emotion, Disclosure and Health.  Washington, DC: American Psychological Association.

Pennebaker, J.W. (1997) Writing about emotional experiences as a therapeutic process.  Psychological Science, 8(3):  162.

Pennebaker, J.W. (2002) Writing about emotional events: from past to future.  In: S.J. Lepore and J.M. Smythe (eds) The Writing Cure: How expressive writing promotes health and emotional well-being.  Washington, DC: American Psychological Association.

Pennebaker, J.W. and Beall, S.K. (1986) Confronting a traumatic event: toward an understanding of inhibition and disease.  Journal of Abnormal psychology, 93(3):  274-281.

Perls, F. (1976) The Gestalt Approach & Eye Witness to Therapy.  Bantam Books.

Perry, P. (2012) How to Stay Sane.  London: Macmillan.

Seligman, M.E.P. (2003) Authentic Happiness: Using the new positive psychology to realize your potential for lasting fulfilment. London: Nicholas Brealey Publishing.

Steiner, C. (1997) Achieving Emotional Literacy: A personal program to increase your emotional intelligence.  London: Bloomsbury.

Stewart, I. and Joines, V. (1987) TA today: a new introduction to Transactional Analysis.  Nottingham: Lifespace Publishing.

Teychenne M, Costigan S, Parker K. (2015) The association between sedentary behaviour and risk of anxiety: A Systematic Review. BMC Public Health, 2015.  Cited in Medical Daily, here: http://www.medicaldaily.com/ constantly-sitting-down-being-sedentary-could-worsen-anxiety-and-mental-health-338952

Trans4mind (2011) Explorations: Awareness Exercises. Publisher: Transforming the Mind.  Available online: http://www.trans4mind.com/ transformation.  Accessed: 12th July 2011.

Wallin, D.A. (2007) Attachment in Psychotherapy.  New York: Guildford Press.  See pages 22-23 for Mary Main’s definition of ‘disorganized attachment’.

Ware, P. (1983) Personality adaptations.  Transactional Analysis Journal, 13(1), 11-19.

Wright, J.K. (1999) Uses of writing to counter the silence of oppression: counselling women at the University of the South pacific.  Pacific Health Dialog, 6(2): 305-310.

Wright, J.K. (2000) Using writing in counselling women at work.  Changes, 18(4):  264-273.

Wright, J.K. (2004) The passion of science, the precision of poetry.  In: Bolton, G., Howlett, S., Lago, C. and Wright, J.K. (eds.) Writing Cures: an introductory handbook of writing in counselling and therapy.  Hove, East Sussex: Brunner-Routledge.

Yanagihara, H. (2016) A little Life.  A novel.  London: Picador.

~~~