On Love and Limerent Pseudo-Love:
Why people get into, and stay in, unhappy couple relationships
By Jim Byrne, Doctor of Counselling
Copyright (c) Jim Byrne, March 2022
Chapter 1: Introduction to love and relationships
We learn about love in our family of origin. For many, if not most of us, that is like learning about abstinence in a pub; or learning about peace on the battlefield. We learn what a relationship is by watching our parents relating to each other. (Oh Boy!) And when we grow up, we act out our early childhood experiences of (inadequate or adequate) love; and we show the world what our parents relationships was really like by the painful re-enactments that we produce in our own “relationships”.
This chapter will help to educate you regarding the true meanings of the words “love” and “relationship”, which may be a million miles from your current enacted definitions.
Chapter 2: Relationships and Involvements (or Limerent entanglements)
If you look at the unhappy relationships that surround you, and think about them for a while, you will come to realize that the very strong glue that holds most of those “relationships” together is not love, because there is nothing loving about the way most couples relate to each other. What they are enacting is not love or relationship, but rather a habit based “repetition compulsion” from early childhood, that is better labelled as “limerence”.
Chapter 3: The Six Day Course in developing a healthy philosophy of love and relationship
If you are stuck in a limerent involvement – glued into a relationship that hurts and does not please – and you want to learn how to have a truly loving relationship, then this is the chapter that will help you to get to that wonderful place.
Chapter 4: The ‘Inner Couple’ model, and how to expunge the script that you copied from your parents
Anything that can we wired into your brain, to form a durable habit, can be re-wired, with some considerable effort.
And the rewards for doing that work are dramatic and invaluable!
Would you be willing to put in the effort to re-wire your “inner couple” template for present-time, enjoyable, adult-to-adult, and playful relationship with a freedom that you have never experienced before? If you would, then this chapter is for you.
Chapter 5… More later…
If you would like to be notified when this book becomes available, please send a blank email to Dr Jim Byrne, with the subject line: Love and limerence book publication notification.