ABC Bookstore Online UK
Self help books; counselling books; personal development books
A great collection of self-help books – for happiness and personal success!
Topics include: Writing therapy; Relaxation exercise; Diet, exercise, and sleep; Understanding yourself; Emotional self-management (including anger, anxiety and depression); Couples therapy and love relationships; Trauma; and more. Plus some fictionalized autobiography as self-therapy
~~~
This is the latest self-help book by Dr Jim Byrne:
Stories from the Couples’ Therapy Room:
The roots of unworkable relationships, and the highroads out of hell!
By Jim Byrne
Doctor of Counselling and Couples Therapist
~~~
It has famously been said that most people lead lives of quiet desperation. And this author can confirm that what he has witnessed in the name of “relationships” has most often been a peculiar form of low-level warfare by two individuals who feel compelled to stay together, but who cannot quite figure out how to like and love each other.
The author understands this phenomenon, because, when he was twenty-four years old, he married a woman he did not love, and who did not show any sign of liking him and caring for him particularly. He went on to have six years of “married life”, before she (fortunately) left him for somebody else. He then ventured into two new relationships, and during the second one, he was fortunate to find his way, with his new life partner, into marriage guidance. That was the beginning of his long road to helping hundreds of couples to have happier relationships.
Jim Byrne has a doctoral degree in counselling from the University of Manchester, UK. He has spent 25 years helping unhappy couples to understand love and relationship; and to decide if they want to opt into an actively loving relationship; or to opt out with no recriminations. He teaches that all human beings are largely non-conscious creatures of habit, and that this is nowhere more evident than it is in marriages and marriage-like relationships.
In this book he recounts some of the many stories he encountered in this therapy work, and how he helped clients to fix their marriages. In the process, he reveals the eighteen principles of happy couple relationships which he either collected or developed or refined over that twenty-four year period.
For more information about this new book, please go to Stories from the Couples Therapy Room.***
~~~
Introducing our twenty best selling books…
1. How to write a new life for yourself:
Self-development and personal growth using regular and specialist journal writing
By Dr Jim Byrne, Doctor of Counselling
You can write a new life for yourself, using powerful journal-writing activities, and writing therapy exercises, which are taught in small, easy steps in this self-help book.
The author, coming from very unpromising origins, has written an amazing life for himself!
This book will present you with 20 helpful exercises for improving your capacity to solve the problems that keep you stuck in your present life; to creatively plan a better future; and to digest and clean up the problems inherited from your past. As a result, you will be delighted with the life you designed for yourself, instead of living the limited life that was written for you by your parents and school teachers.
This is the book that will help you to write a new road map for better health, wealth and happiness, and to take control of your life.
For more information, please click this link: How to write a new life for yourself, in your journal.***
~~~
2. Relax Your Way to a Better Life:
Using Dr Jacobson’s Progressive Muscle Relaxation technique for physical and mental health
By Renata Taylor-Byrne, Lifestyle Coach
“In his book titled ‘Farewell to Fatigue’, Dr Donald Norfolk tells the story of how Henry Ford learned to value relaxation time. When Ford was trying to rush his Model A motor car to market, he made his workers work seven days a week. Once the car was produced, and on the market, he realized that he could have got it out much faster if he’s allowed them to rest on Sundays, because they spent a great deal of the week correcting the errors that were made every Sunday!” (Renata Taylor-Byrne, 2022).
Relax your way to a better life. Switch off the tension that underlies your stress, anxiety, depression, unhappiness and vulnerability to physical illness; and switch on physical and mental health and happiness. Your productivity and creativity will soar; as will your general happiness level!
This is the book that helps you to get in touch with the sweet, soft feeling of total relaxation and the joy of being alive!
Tension is a source of personal misery, and of physical and mental health problems. Relaxation is the undoing of tension and stress, which improves physical and mental health; and your personal and professional productivity. But it cannot be done with alcohol, drugs, sex addiction, or other forms of escapism. It requires you to learn what it feels like to be tense, and then to let than tension go. This book will teach you what do do and how to do it.
For more information, please click this link: Relax and enjoy it.***
~~~
Here is some brief information about our latest self-help book:
Neglect Your Sleep – Wreck Your Health and Happiness:
Eleven ways lack of sleep damages you, and eighteen powerful strategies for getting great sleep!
By Renata Taylor-Byrne, December 2022-January 2023
Hello and welcome to this brief statement about my newest, briefest, and most important book on the linkages between sleep, on the one hand, and your health and happiness on the other.
It also includes everything you need to know to make sure you always get a good night’s sleep, every night, without the useless palliatives of sleeping pills and/or alcohol and/or drugs.
~~~
Preface
How much do you know about the importance of sleep?
Here is the “bottom line” of the knowledge we all need: If you want to wreck your health, reduce your sleep.
This book will teach you the importance of sleep for good physical and mental health and happiness. Most of the modern diseases are linked back to inadequate sleep (among other lifestyle causes!)
To read more, please click this link.***
~~~
We have a total of three books on the science of sleep, and what you need to learn to manage your sleep and your health, including problems of insomnia.***
4. Holistic Counselling in Practice:
An introduction to the theory and practice of Emotive-Cognitive Embodied-Narrative Therapy
By Jim Byrne DCoun FISPC
With Renata Taylor-Byrne BSc (Hons) Psychol
This book was the original introduction to Emotive-Cognitive Embodied Narrative Therapy (E-CENT), which was created by Dr Jim Byrne in the period 2009-2014, building upon earlier work from 2003. It is of historic importance, but it has been superseded by Lifestyle Counselling and Coaching for the Whole Person, below. However, this original version may still be the best bet if you are a self-help enthusiast, rather than a counsellor or psychotherapist.
~~~
5. Lifestyle Counselling and Coaching for the Whole Person:
Or how to integrate nutritional insights, exercise and sleep coaching into talk therapy.
By Dr Jim Byrne, with Renata Taylor-Byrne
Because diet, exercise and sleep are increasingly seen to be important determinants of mental health and emotional well-being, it is now necessary to rethink our models of counselling and therapy. This book will show counsellors how to incorporate lifestyle coaching and counselling into their system of talk therapy. It will also help self-help enthusiasts to take better care of their own mental and physical health, and emotional well-being.
~~~
Are you feeling anxious about the state of the world; the state of your health; threats to your health; or your future economic circumstances? If so, this book can help to calm you down, and keep you happy in an unhappy world!
6. Cutting through the Worry Knot!
How to Reduce and Control Your Anxiety Level:
Using a whole body-brain-mind approach
And without using drugs, alcohol or escapism!
By Jim Byrne and Renata Taylor-Byrne
~~~
Anxiety can help you – by alerting you to the presence of real dangers. And it can make your life miserable, by setting off bodily alarms in situations where there are no significant dangers. Learn how to manage your anxiety through strategies involving your body, your brain and your mind.
This self-help book is dedicated to the generations of thinkers, writers, theorists, researchers and others who have investigated the nature of anxiety and worry; and tracked it back to its roots in lifestyle factors and philosophies of life. Their insights are summarized for the benefit of you, the reader.
Of course, we are all facing real threats and dangers out there in the world today; but we can still keep our anxiety level low enough to be happy and healthy, if we understand how to switch off the flight response; or at least damp it down!
Many people live lives which are tied up in knots of worry, anxiety, fear, apprehension and dread. They can hardly remember what it was like to feel relaxed, happy and at ease. This book will teach you how to cut through these kinds of emotional knots, from various angles, one at a time, to produce a state of greatly improved relaxation and ease.
For more information, please click this link.***.
~~~
3. A Major Critique of REBT:
Revealing the many errors in the foundations of Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy
Jim Byrne spent about twenty-five years as an acolyte of Albert Ellis system of Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy (REBT); and about fifteen years as a Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapist. During that time, he was at least as dogmatic as Dr Albert Ellis in asserting the value and virtues of REBT for sanity and happiness.
However, in the period 2005-2007, he witness at first hand the limitations of this form of “Amoral and Extreme Stoicism”, when it failed to maintain the sanity and happiness of the denizens of 45 East 65th Street, New York City; where a civil war was fought out by the declining Ellis and the rising stars of highly-irrational REBT!
There was a need to clarify the bottom line of Dr Byrne’s critique of REBT, and that has been done in a 22 page Preface to this reissued, 2019 edition of his major critique.
Also, we have added a reference to the research which shows that emotional pain and physical pain are both mediated and processed through significantly overlapping neural networks, which contradicts Dr Ellis’s claim that nobody could hurt you, except with a baseball bat.
Available in paperback and low-cost Kindle eBook formats.
~~~
Coming soon: The second volume of Dr Jim Byrne’s fictionalized autobiography:
The Sex-Love Question and the so-called “Gender Wars”:
Or how my life was distorted by misinformation about sex and gender
The life-distorting socialization of Daniel O’Beeve
A fictionalized story by Jim Byrne
~~~For a page of information about this forthcoming book, please click this link: The Sex-Love Question and the so-called “Gender Wars”.***
You can also find a page of information about the previous volume in this series, on this page: The Disconnected Heart of Daniel O.***
~~~
7. How to control your anger, anxiety and depression, using nutrition and physical exercise
By Renata Taylor-Byrne and Jim Byrne, 2017
If you want to be mentally healthy and happy, you have to know how to maintain optimal physical health!
Diet, exercise, mental health. If you’ve worked at improving your philosophy of life, and still you feel angry, or anxious, or depressed; perhaps it’s time to take a close look at the linkages between diet and exercise, on the one hand, and emotional disturbances on the other. This book includes lots of insights, including the six most toxic foods; the best foods to eat; a detailed stress and anxiety diet; and the best approaches to physical exercise for physical and mental health.
This self-help book is useful for self-help enthusiasts, who want to improve their physical and mental health or emotional wellbeing; and also for counsellors who want to teach their clients about the importance of diet and exercise for emotional control.
For more information, please click this link.***.
~~~
8. The Bamboo Paradox:
The limits of human flexibility in a cruel world – and how to protect, defend and strengthen yourself
Finding the Golden Mean that leads to strength and viable flexibility, in order to be happy, healthy and realistically successful
By Dr Jim Byrne, with contributed chapters by Renata Taylor-Byrne
~~~
We are living through very difficult times, in which individuals are expected increasingly to work like slaves in jobs that never end, even as you get home and have to deal with emails, Zoom meetings, and so on. But we are not machines, and all this stress will damage your health, unless you learn about the Bamboo Paradox: (Humans are not as flexible as bamboo; and bamboo is not human. And so on…)
This book will teach you a new philosophy of life – Moderate Stoicism – as opposed to Extreme Stoicism; which will keep you reasonably strong, and prevent you killing yourself by assuming you have the flexibility of bamboo, or unlimited staying-power, when you do not!
Malign forces in “the world of influencing” have been tricking and fooling us into believing that we can and should work like mechanical robots, and survive with the flexibility of bamboo. But check the wards of your local hospitals to find the people who took this misleading information most seriously! Take control of your work life before you become a burnt-out husk!
For more information, please click this link: You are not a bamboo, and you are entitled to have a balanced life.***
~~~
9. Anger, Resentment, and Forgiveness: How to get your inappropriate anger under control
Overcome resentment and learn to forgive and accept
Your anger can help to protect you from the aggression of others; but it could also cause you to lose face; to lose relationships; to lose a job; to lose your freedom (through imprisonment); or to lose your life, in an aggressive confrontation.
Whether your anger serves you well, or works against your best interests, all depends upon how you manage it!
Are you struggling with problems managing your anger?
Are you getting into trouble, or losing face, or relationships, or jobs, etc., because of your anger? If so, then this book can definitely help you to get back on the high road to a better life.
For more, please click this link.***
~~~
10. Albert Ellis and the Unhappy Golfer:
A critique of the simplistic ABC model of REBT
By Dr Jim Byrne
~~~
The unhappy golfer is in Dr Albert Ellis’s office, in New York City, somewhere around the end of the 1950’s. He tells Dr Ellis that he feels terribly unhappy about being rejected by his golfing peers, and Dr Ellis tells him: This is something you are doing to yourself!
Ellis uses the unhappy golfer to introduce his readers to his simple ABC model of REBT, which claims that a person cannot be upset emotionally in any way other than by their own beliefs!
This book sets out to refute this simplistic idea.
Albert Ellis and the Unhappy Golfer.***
~~~
11. How to Quickly Fix your Couple Relationship:
A brief DIY handbook for serious lovers
By Dr Jim Byrne
This book has been specially designed to provide some quick relief up front. That means that, right at the start of the book, I share with you some of the most powerful insights into how to have a happy relationships. I then help you to complete a couple of exercises that take five minutes per day, and which will begin to change your relationship situation almost at once.
~~~
For more information: Learn more
Paperback and eBook versions available
~~~
12. The Amoralism of Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy (REBT):
The mishandling of self-acceptance and unfairness issues by Albert Ellis
By Dr Jim Byrne
This book is an extensive, detailed critique of two of the central ideas of REBT:
(1) The concept of ‘unconditional self-acceptance’; and
(2) The idea of life as being fundamentally unfair, and that it should be accepted as such, and never complained about.
In the process we also deal with Albert Ellis’s idea that people should never be blamed for anything; that praise and blame are bad; that guilt and shame are to be eliminated, and never taken to be indicators that we’ve done something wrong. Along the way we have a debate with Dr Michael Edelstein about the role of fairness in couple relationships. (This material is also based on chapters from the major critique above).
~~~
13. Transforming Traumatic Dragons:
How to recover from a history of trauma – using a whole body-brain-mind approach
By Jim Byrne, Doctor of Counselling
~~~
Foreword
Trauma is all around us. The majority of people experience several traumatic events in life, in childhood or later on. And those traumatic experiences are difficult to digest; to process; and to recover from.
This book will teach you how to slowly and cautiously process, or digest, old emotional traumas, (horrible experiences), so they can be healed. After they have been healed, it will feel like they never happened; or they happened to somebody else; or they exist in a distant, undisturbing past history, which is now over!
You will learn three processes to help with the task of digesting your most awful experiences. These are:
– A process of re-framing, (or changing your thoughts and feelings), which has been derived from very wise modern and ancient philosophies;
– A process of confronting memories in the form of written reflection/ digestion exercises from various highly effective systems of psychotherapy; and:
– A whole-body process of emotional integration (because feelings exist as much in our bodies as they do in our minds).
For more information about this featured book, please click this link: Childhood developmental trauma: Facing and defeating dragons.***
~~~
14. A counsellor reflects upon models of mind
Integrating the psychological models of Plato, Freud, Berne and Ellis
By Dr Jim Byrne
Prices from: £5.99 (Kindle) and £14.99 GBP (Paperback)
Every counsellor needs to think long and hard about their perceptions of their clients. Are they based on ‘common sense’, or have they been subjected to the discipline of considering the theories of great minds that preceded us, like Plato, Freud, Berne and Ellis. (Ellis, of course, oversimplified the SOR model of mind into the simple ABC model, but he is still important because of his impact on the whole CBT theory, which currently dominates the field of counselling and therapy in the US, UK and elsewhere).
Paperback and eBook versions available
~~~
15. How to Stop Wrecking Your Mental, Physical and Emotional Health:
Answers from the science of sleep, By Renata Taylor-Byrne
This book addresses many important questions about sleep, in greater detail that our new (December 2022) brief book; including the following:
Why should we be concerned about the quantity of hours slept? (Including the physical and mental diseases linked to inadequate sleep).
Why should we be committed to getting high quality, undisturbed sleep? (The physical and mental health benefits).
What causes common sleep problems? And:
How to fix common sleep problems, like insomnia. (This includes looking at foods that promote sleep; and foods that destroy sleep. Plus how to manage your lifestyle in general to promote healthy sleep – which, in turn, gives you a healthy life. And also how to manage your mind, and your sleep environment, to reap the great rewards of regular, nourishing and regenerating sleep experiences).
…For more information about this book, please click this link: Sleep science and your health.***
~~~
16. How to Sleep Well, Every Single Night: Quick solutions from the science of sleep
By Renata Taylor-Byrne, January 2022
This new book (dated January 2022) from Renata Taylor-Byrne, represents the quickest and easiest introduction to the latest scientific research on how to resolve your problems with insomnia; how to manage your sleep better; and how to benefit from the healing and restorative effects of a good night’s sleep.
Prior to writing this book, the author reviewed more than twenty years of scientific research from the world’s leading sleep researchers.
Sleep is more precious than material wealth – and indeed it is impossible to maintain the quest for material wealth without adequate sleep. As Warren Buffet has said: “When forced to choose, I will not trade even one night’s sleep for the chance of extra profit.”
Now you can learn how to sleep like a happy baby, every single night!
https://abc-bookstore.com/overcome-insomnia-and-sleep-well-every-night/
How to Sleep Well, Every Single Night: Quick solutions from the science of sleep
~~~
17. Processing Client Stories in Counselling and Psychotherapy:
How to think about and analyze client narratives
Dr Jim Byrne, Doctor of Counselling
The Institute for E-CENT Publications – 2019
Copyright © Jim Byrne, 2019. All rights reserved.
Of all the systems of counselling and therapy, the main ones that pay attention to the body of the client include Gestalt Therapy, and my own system of Emotive-Cognitive Embodied Narrative Therapy (or E-CENT for short).
In E-CENT counselling, when a client arrives to see us, we see a body-brain-mind-environment-whole enter our room. We agree that this person will begin by telling us a story about their current difficulties; but we recognize that this story is affected, for better or worse, by the quality and duration of their recent sleep patterns; their diet (including caffeine, alcohol, sugary foods, and trans-fats in junk food); and whether or not they do regular physical exercise; and other bodily factors.
However, in this book, we will mainly focus upon the client’s story or narrative; and perhaps remind ourselves occasionally that this story is being told by a physical body-brain-mind which is dependent for optimal functioning upon such factors as diet, exercise, sleep, and so on. We will focus upon the question of the status of autobiographical narratives; and how to analyze the stories our clients tell us.
Available as an eBook only.***
~~~
Learn more about this book.***
~~~
18. How to Have a Wonderful, Loving Relationship:
Helpful insights for couples and lovers
By Jim Byrne (with Renata Taylor-Byrne)
Originally published with the title, Top secrets for Building a Successful Relationship, in 2018. Reissued with a new title and minor changes in November 2019.
~~~
Do you sometimes feel that you are just reliving your parents’ relationship? The unworkable, misery-inducing pattern that you witnessed in childhood? If so, you are probably right. That is most often how relationships turn out, unless you wake up and begin to change your unconscious pattern of relating.
Most human beings long to be engaged in a loving relationship with another person who they like and admire, and who likes, admires, loves and respects them in turn.
But most people have no idea how to bring this about.
A few lucky people will automatically ‘know’ what to do, non-consciously, because they had parents who openly demonstrated their love for each other.
If your parents did not love, like, respect and/or care for each other; or they failed to demonstrate active love for you; then you are going to have to learn from scratch. But do not despair. The answers to your problem can be found in this book…
PAPERBACK BOOK AND LOW-COST KINDLE EBOOK, ON RELATIONSHIP AND COMMUNICATION SKILLS…
Find out how to reprogram yourself for a loving, joyful, peaceful relationship that enriches your life, instead of making you miserable and disappointed. To find out some more about this process, please click this link.***
~~~
19. Who Are You, And Where Are You Going?
Transformative insights from psychology and the philosophy of psychotherapy
By Dr Jim Byrne, with Renata Taylor-Byrne
In his book on ‘Being a Human’, Charles Foster writes:
“Few of us have any idea what kind of creatures we are. If we don’t know what we are, how can we know how we should act? How can we know what will really make us happy; what will make us thrive?” … “… Surely each of us has to try, at least for ourselves, to decide what we are?”
When you look in the mirror, who do you see? When you contemplate the road ahead of you, in life, do you like what you see?
There are many wonderful places to get to in life; and many horrible places! Where are you going?
To understand where you are going in life, you have to understand where you have been, and the nature of the roadmap you are using. But even more important than those requirements, you need to have a clearer idea of who you actually *are* – beyond the labels that life has attached to you! (If you seem to be lost, does that not speak loudly about the quality of your personal map of life?)
This self-help book is the one that teaches you that you are not the limited being you think you are; that your personality can be reformed; that you can change your habitual feelings; and even the urges that control who you choose as a marriage partner.
For more information, please click this link: Change your destiny; improve your life.***
~~~
~~~
20. How to Resolve Conflict and Unhappiness: Especially during Festive Celebrations:
Coping with and resolving frustrations, disappointments and interpersonal clashes at family celebrations like Christmas, Yuletide, Hanukkah, Eid, and Thanksgiving
Dr Jim Byrne (With Renata Taylor-Byrne)
Conflict can happen in families at any time of year. It jut so happens that the first Monday after the Christmas & New Year annual holidays is called ‘Divorce Day’, because that is when the highest number of divorce petitions is issued. And it seems most likely that the other major family holiday times are the runners up in the divorce stakes. However, what is hidden under these divorce statistics is the mountain of personal and social misery that precedes such drastic ‘solutions’ to repeated conflict, disappointments and interpersonal clashes.
But there is a better way to deal with these problems. Rather than letting the misery build up over time, you can take control of both your own mind, and the way you communicate within your family and society. You can insulate your social relationships from constant or repeated misery and unhappiness; and learn to have a wonderful life with your family and friends.
The solutions have been assembled by Dr Jim Byrne in this book about how to re-think/re-feel/re-frame your encounters with your significant others; how to communicate so they will listen; how to listen so they can communicate with you; and how to manage your lifestyle for optimum peace, happiness and success in all your relationships.
PAPERBACK AND eBOOK ON CONFLICT RESOLUTION…
Don’t let your relationships deteriorate. Get the solution today. Click this link for more.***
~~~
Postscript on 29th September 2022: We have recently published a new book – (based on the idea that reading fictional stories can be therapeutic). This is a collection of five short stories about love, sex, relationship and the pain of parting.*** Written by Dr Jim Byrne
~~~
Postscript 2, on 1st October 2022: Please take a look at this continuation page: More personal development books…***
~~~
This bookstore is owned and run by Dr Jim Byrne, Doctor of Counselling; and Renata Taylor-Byrne, Lifestyle Coach.
We are based in Hebden Bridge, West Yorkshire, and we spend most of our time researching and writing books that can help you to improve the quality and quantity or duration of your life!
Email: Dr Jim Byrne
~~~
Newly released on 15th November 2022
The Disconnected Heart of Daniel O:
The fictionalized autobiography of a seeker after love
~~~
“How I healed my (mother-inflicted) childhood emotional wounds, and how you can heal yours!”
~~~
A fictionalized-factual life story, combined with a subjective psychological self-analysis of developmental trauma disorder
~~~
By Jim Byrne, Doctor of Counselling – (and his alter ego, Daniel O’Beeve)
~~~
This book is about one man’s journey away from his homeland and his emotionally barren family and priest-dominated culture, to a place where he might find love, acceptance and personal liberation.
Daniel’s heart-wrenching journey to freedom is like a detective novel, a psychological thriller, and a science fiction adventure, all rolled into one. He shows the reader how to heal their own psychological wounds from childhood, and especially from their relationship with an unskillful or damaged mother.
…For more information, and a substantial extract from the book, please click this link…
~~~
Reader Review:
“I read this book in three evenings. It’s a wonderfully insightful trawl through the complexities of the initial relationship bond between a damaged mother and her avoidant and dissociating son, by the seer Dr Jim Byrne.
“The book explores the dynamics of his own relationship with his mother in a way that is accessible and tangible, which is generalizable to the life of the reader. Many readers will be able to relate to this fictionalized story which explores early attachment trauma(s) and how we spend the rest of our lives trying to come to terms with what happened to us as a child. And the bonus is a final chapter which describes how to heal your own ‘mother wound’.”
Brian Ingersoll-Trent, Liverpool. December 7th 2022
~~~
…For more information, and a substantial extract from the book, please click this link…
~~~
For more self-help books, please click this link.***
~~~
ABC Bookstore Online UK 