ABC Bookstore Online UK
Self-help books; personal development books; and counselling psychology books…
Book topics include: anger, anxiety, depression; marriage and couple relationships; stress, relaxation and sleep problems; conflict resolution; rational and cognitive therapy; self-management; life management; counselling topics; plus improving your physical and mental health…
“Our mission in life is to research, write and publish the books that will make the most dramatic improvement to your life, in the shortest amount of time, for the most reasonable cost!”
Jim Byrne and Renata Taylor-Byrne,
Lifestyle Coaching-Counselling innovators: January 2021
“The foolish person seeks happiness in the far distance, while the wise person grows it under their feet.”
If you want help to improve the quality and quantity of your life, you have come to the right place! 🙂
Books teach us how to extend our minds and our lives beyond those of our parents and our teachers: To grow and change. To become more interesting, creative, competent and successful, independent-minded, and rounded human beings.
Books are treasure troves of vital information about:
– How to live well;
– How to be happy, healthy (physically and mentally), successful and wealthy;
– And how to change, grow and improve, personally and professionally.
Or, as India Knight recently wrote in the Sunday Times Magazine:
“Recent research from Yale University says that people who read books live longer, which is nice. But reading does so much more than that: it equips you for living. Everything I know comes from books – and not just the highbrow ones… The Reading Agency … says that reading for pleasure is ‘a more powerful factor in life achievement than socio-economic background’. I honestly believe that any good thing I’ve achieved personally or professionally is down to reading. It’s been a far more significant contributor than education”.
Updated on 9th April 2021
Bookshelf Number One
The following ten book titles can be found on this first bookshelf (and there are three additional bookshelves):
Who Are You, And Where Are You Going?
Transformative insights from psychology and the philosophy of psychotherapy
By Dr Jim Byrne, Doctor of Counselling
If I asked you, “Who are you?” my guess is that you would tell me your name.
But that is just an identification label attached to you, soon after birth, by your parents. You are not your name! How do I know? Because you are at least a physical body, and your physical body is not a name.
So then, you might try telling me your name (again) combined with your place of birth, your age, gender, and current marital status. But that is not who you are, because many other people are the same gender as you, but they are not you. Many other people have your marital status, but they are not you. Many people are your age, but they are not you.
You might then tell me some of your accomplishments, and your work role. But that is not who you are, because many other people have the same or similar accomplishments, but they are not you. And many other individuals do work which is similar to yours, or virtually identical to yours, but they are not you.
So there is a real problem for you, because you do not have a clue who you are. And therefore you cannot know what is possible for somebody like you. This book is designed to wake you up to who you could be, and how much more you could get out of your life.
For more information, please click this link: Self, identity and life direction.***
Some of my clients ask me (Jim Byrne) why I recommend writing as the road to a new life, and I most often share with them the insights of John Chaffee on that subject, where he says that “…writing is a vehicle for creating and communicating your ideas, a catalyst for your intellectual development. The intimate, interactive relationships that connect language, thinking, and writing have been remarked on by many people, including the writers
– Annie Dillard (‘I don’t know what I think until I see myself write’), and
– Elie Wiesel (‘I write to understand as much as to be understood’).” (John Chaffee, The Thinkers Way, page 21).
How to Write a New Life for Yourself, by Dr Jim Byrne
Writing about your daily life, on a regular basis, is like acquiring a second brain. Processing your daily experiences through reflective writing is one of the most effective ways of promoting personal and professional change and improvement in your life situation, at home and in work.
The author presents more than twenty of his most potent reflective-writing exercises; including those that have made the greatest improvements to his own life circumstances, especially health and happiness, problem solving, career and life management, and enjoyable relationships. Write down your vision and goals, and make them happen; or write out your past problems as a form of therapy; or develop your creative ideas. This book shows you how, in small, easy to follow steps. Anything you wish to achieve in your life is brought closer, more reliably, by writing it out using our writing strategies.
The biggest obstacle to your personal development is your failure to dream big enough! It is not a good idea to aim too high, too fast. Your goals do have to be realistic. However, if you were seriously constrained as a child, in terms of the restrictions placed upon your right to dream big dreams, then what you think of as being ‘realistic’ and what I think of as being ‘realistic’ will be very different. What one thing would you love to do with your life if you knew you could not fail? Find out what that is, and then aim for it. If you fail after trying, and trying and trying to achieve it, at least you will still be a long way from where you are headed at the moment!
Jim Byrne, April 2021
You might think you know what it’s like to relax; but the truth is that most people never relax fully. They carry stress, tension and mental strain with them from morning till night, and then, because they are tense, they have difficulty sleeping. Prolonged tension causes inflammation in the body, and is linked to many chronic diseases. Tension also detracts from our moment to moment sense of happiness and ease.
The moment you learn to relax fully, most of the apparent threats and dangers that surround you will dissolve like the early morning mist when the sun warms up the world! Try it and see.
“There are as many nights as days, and the one is just as long as the other in the year’s course. Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word ‘happy’ would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness.”
Metal Dog – Long road home…
The story of a traumatized boy who found his way through the confusion of developmental trauma and into the Lotus Land!
By Jim Byrne (channelling Daniel O’Beeve)
Jim Byrne was traumatized by parents who knew nothing about love. Parents who did not love each other, and saw their children as burdens; who had to have the fear of God beaten into them. Parents who lost their farm and had to move to the city to eke out a living on poverty wages, living among people who considered them second class citizens.
Trauma was piled on trauma when he went to school and found he was an alien, unwelcome by his city-born peers. He had had his ‘fierceness switch’ turned off by his brutalizing parents, and so he could not defend himself physically.
Eighteen years later he managed to stumble into psychoanalysis, and related therapies, which patched him up for a return to the lonesome trail that he had been on from the age of eighteen, when he left home, never to return.
The Bamboo Paradox: The limits of human flexibility in a cruel world – and how to protect, defend and strengthen yourself
Finding the Golden Mean that leads to strength and viable flexibility, in order to be happy, healthy and realistically successful
By Dr Jim Byrne; with contributed chapters by Renata Taylor-Byrne
We live in a world in which there are dark forces that wish us to forget that we are fleshy bodies, with physical and mental needs; and physical and mental limitations. They want us to be willing to function like mere cogs in the wheels of somebody else’s financial or technological empire.
In this book, I review the research that we have done on the limits of human endurance, and the determinants of that endurance – as well as identifying a viable philosophy of life – which will help you to optimize your strength and flexibility, while at the same time taking care of your health and happiness.
If you want to take good care of yourself in the modern mad-market, you could benefit from studying this book. It will provide you with both a compass and a suit of armour which will support you with the challenges and battles you will inevitably face.
For more information, please click this link: The Bamboo Paradox, or how to take control of your professional life.***
“The true way to render ourselves happy is to love our work and find in it our pleasure.”
Francoise de Motteville
Renata Taylor-Byrne’s book about the science of sleep – which was published in 2019 with the title ‘Safeguard your sleep and reap the rewards’ – has been reissued in January 2021 with the following, more descriptively accurate title:
How to Stop Wrecking Your Mental, Physical and Emotional Health:
Answers from the science of sleep
This book addresses many important questions about sleep, including the following:
Why should we be committed to getting high quality, undisturbed sleep? (The physical and mental health benefits).
What causes common sleep problems? And:
How to fix common sleep problems, like insomnia. (This includes looking at foods that promote sleep; and foods that destroy sleep. Plus how to manage your lifestyle in general to promote healthy sleep – which, in turn, gives you a healthy life. And also how to manage your mind, and your sleep environment, to reap the great rewards of regular, nourishing and regenerating sleep experiences).
…For more information about this book, please click this link: Sleep science and your physical and mental health.***
“Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.”
Transforming Traumatic Dragons:
How to recover from a history of trauma – using a whole body-brain-mind approach
Revised, expanded and updated:
The author wrote this book to help individuals (who had traumatic experiences earlier in life) to be able to digest those traumas, and resolve any negative symptoms of having been traumatized.
The book describes three potent self-help processes which were designed to guide the reader in slowly and cautiously processing, or digesting, old emotional traumas, so they can be healed. The journey on offer is one from constant fight-or-flight emotions (like anger or anxiety); or from being switched off, zoned out, and unconnected to others; to one of returning to the original state of safety and security of being safely held in a loving mother’s arms – (the arms of a life you can now manage!)
“There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved”.
Coping with and resolving frustrations, disappointments and interpersonal clashes at family celebrations like Christmas, Yuletide, Hanukkah, Eid, and Thanksgiving
This book was originally written to teach individuals how to mange the common flashpoints of family gatherings at Christmas time. Over the years, it has been used by individuals from all faith communities, to help them cope with interpersonal tensions, frustrations and disappointments link to religious, spiritual, or secular family reunions: (Christmas, Easter, Eid, Hanukkah, Diwali, and so on). This book will teach you to develop a philosophy of life, and a set of interpersonal skills, which, in unison, will make all your family reunions a source of joy, and minimize the flash-points and falling-outs!
“When we feel love and kindness toward others, it not only makes others feel loved and cared for, but it helps us also to develop inner happiness and peace.”
The Dalai Lama
The authors were persuaded, like so many victims of the “cognitive turn”, that all that mattered in terms of reducing your anger, anxiety and depression, was to “watch your language”. Or to “keep your beliefs in line with reality”. However, just as any fool who persists in their folly will (very often) become wise, they eventually realized that some of their counselling and therapy clients were angry, anxious or depressed for non-psychological reasons. That is to say, they were upset because they ate the wrong kinds of (brain-affecting) foods; and failed to get enough exercise to burn off their stress hormones. For this reason, they began to explore just what they and their clients needed to learn – about food/ diet/ nutrition, and physical activity – in order to keep themselves emotionally well regulated. In this book, they present all the information you need to make the changes in diet and exercise that will improve your mental and physical health.
“Happiness cannot come from without. It must come from within. It is not what we see and touch or that which others do for us which makes us happy; it is that which we think and feel and do, first for the other fellow and then for ourselves.”
Anxiety is not a disease; not a mental illness. Anxiety – at its best – is part of our normal, innate, mental signalling system which tells us what is happening to us, and what to do about it. That is to say, it is part of our emotional wiring. Our emotional intelligence.
Trying to get rid of anxiety with drugs is like hanging two overcoats and a duvet over your burglar alarm bell when it goes off. The burglar alarm is designed to give you helpful information, which you can then use to guide your action. Should you check to see if a burglar has got into your house? Or call the police? Or realize that you’ve mismanaged your alarm system, producing a false alarm, and that you should therefore switch it off?
Getting rid of the alarm signal, by dampening it down, defeats the whole object of having it in the first place!
This book explains how to manage your anxiety, and keep it under control, without the use of (largely useless) drugs. Instead, the focus is on your lifestyle habits, and your philosophy of life. Rapid progress in mastering your anxiety is possible with this book.
“The most I can do for my friend is simply to be their friend. I have no wealth to bestow upon them. If they know that I am happy in loving them, they will want no other reward. Is not friendship divine in this?”
Henry David Thoreau
On the next page of this website, you will find brief descriptions of the following books:
Shelf 2 contains books on: Anger management; personal identity and life direction; sleep science and overcoming insomnia; quick insights into how to improve your relationship; how Jim Byrne recovered from childhood trauma; effective skills and knowledge for building a loving relationship; and how to be a successful husband. Take a look. Click the following link: