Think better, think on paper

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Think and grow rich, and wise, and healthy!

The process of thinking is a lost art…

Blog post by Jim Byrne, Doctor of Counselling, Hebden Bridge, West Yorkshire, UK.

9^th May 2021

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Introduction

We live in an era of information overload – “Big time”!

Most people have had their ability to concentrate and pay attention to the Vital Few goals they should be pursuing in life; and are constantly distracted into performing the Trivial Many. They end up doing what is “anxiety relieving” instead of “goal achieving”. (Constantly checking that mobile phone does nothing to improve your life circumstances! Really! It doesn’t!)

Furthermore, most people will do anything to avoid the hard labour of thinking.

What is thinking?

Thinking has been defined in various ways by various experts, and the best approach to thinking is going to be this: Study the distilled essence of the best approaches. That is what I offer to my clients: the distilled essence.

Critical thinking structures our attention around the concept of “creating an argument” as opposed to engaging in “emotionally arousing rhetoric”.

Edward de Bono’s approach is designed to help us to learn and use a range of “attention directors”; and a systematic way to collect information and make sense of it, using six different strategies.

John Chaffee’s approach teaches the eight keys of “the thinker’s way”; and these include: thinking critically and creatively; and using effective communication and problem solving strategies.

My approach involves an integration of Perceiving, Feeling and Thinking – linked to the search for the answer of these question: “How to live wisely”; and “How to write a new life for yourself”.

How I teach my system

I teach my approach to effective “perfinking” – or perceiving/ feeling/ thinking, through my counselling and coaching services; and through some of my books; especially the following two:

How to Write a New Life for Yourself, by Dr Jim Byrne

Kindle Cover WriteANewLife (2) Writing about your daily life, on a regular basis, is like acquiring a second brain. Processing your daily experiences through reflective writing is one of the most effective ways of promoting personal and professional change and improvement in your life situation, at home and in work.

The author presents more than twenty of his most potent reflective-writing exercises; including those that have made the greatest improvements to his own life circumstances, especially health and happiness, problem solving, career and life management, and enjoyable relationships. Write down your vision and goals, and make them happen; or write out your past problems as a form of therapy; or develop your creative ideas. This book shows you how, in small, easy to follow steps. Anything you wish to achieve in your life is brought closer, more reliably, by writing it out using our writing strategies.

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Who Are You, And Where Are You Going?

Transformative insights from psychology and the philosophy of psychotherapy

Front cover, Who are you By Dr Jim Byrne, Doctor of Counselling

If I asked you, “Who are you?” my guess is that you would tell me your name.

But that is just an identification label attached to you, soon after birth, by your parents. You are not your name! How do I know? Because you are at least a physical body, and your physical body is not a name.

So then, you might try telling me your name (again) combined with your place of birth, your age, gender, and current marital status. But that is not who you are, because many other people are the same gender as you, but they are not you. Many other people have your marital status, but they are not you. Many people are your age, but they are not you.

You might then tell me some of your accomplishments, and your work role. But that is not who you are, because many other people have the same or similar accomplishments, but they are not you. And many other individuals do work which is similar to yours, or virtually identical to yours, but they are not you.

So there is a real problem for you, because you do not have a clue who you are. And therefore you cannot know what is possible for somebody like you. This book is designed to wake you up to who you could be, and how much more you could get out of your life.

For more information, please click this link: Self, identity and life direction.***

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Please take a look at the information about those two books. I hope you find this interesting and helpful in moving you beyond the widespread state of directionless anxiety about an uncertain future.

Best wishes,

Jim

Dr Jim Byrne, Doctor of Counselling

ABC Coaching and Counselling Services

ABC Bookstore

The E-CENT Institute

Email: Dr Jim Byrne

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Writing therapy and Covid-19 trauma recovery

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Blog Post – 5^th March 2021

By Renata Taylor-Byrne

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Reading and writing can help us make sense of what happened to us all during the Covid-19 pandemic

And you can find peace again!

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“Words are a form of action, capable of influencing change”.

Ingrid Bengis – (From page 10, The Artists Way, 1992)[1]

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Health coach, Renata Taylor-Byrne Because of the challenges, disruption, and appalling deaths and destabilising changes which have taken place since the onset of the world-wide Covid-19 health crisis, inevitably many people have lost sight of who they are and where they are going in life. And they don’t know what the future holds for them.

An invaluable way of finding yourself again – and starting to come to terms with where you are, and what the way forward is for you in your life – is to use a method which has been tried and tested by many people. We are big fans of this process.

In short, you start writing about what is happening to you in your life, and what you have experienced; and begin the process of mentally digesting past events, and coming to terms with the new, very different world you are now living in.

Six months ago, this process would have been premature. Even nine months ago it would not have been advisable. (Early processing of traumatic memories simply acts to re-traumatize you!) But now, more than one year since the first Covid-19 deaths in the west, it is time to begin digesting the awful traumatic shock of this terrible disease.

“You need to claim the events of your life to make yourself yours”.

Anne-Wilson Schaef

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By writing for a few minutes, every morning, about the stressful time you have come through, you can begin to fully acknowledge the confusion, pain, loss, and anxiety you have been going through.

You can begin to extract any valuable insights you have learned about life, other people and yourself, and slowly start finding and feeling your way into a future which makes sense to them.

Kindle Cover WriteANewLife (2) This very simple but highly therapeutic process is described in our book titled: “How to write a new life for yourself”, (by Dr Jim Byrne with Renata Taylor-Byrne).

The benefits are very real:

For example, Philippa Perry (2012) describes a research study where the people taking part were split up into 2 groups. One half of the group wrote in their diary every day, and the other half didn’t. The results were as follows:

“Diarists reported better moods and fewer moments of distress than non-diarists. Those in the same study, who kept a journal following trauma or bereavement, also reported fewer flashbacks, nightmares and unexpected difficult memories”.[2]

She also describes diarists as less likely to be admitted to hospital, with improved liver, blood pressure, and a stronger immune system. (And keeping your immune system strong is now recognized as the main way you can protect yourself from Covid-19, and other major diseases!)

For more insights into the benefits derived from diary writing, or keeping a journal, please look at “How to write a new life for yourself” (by Dr Jim Byrne with Renata Taylor-Byrne).

The-Artists-Way In her work on therapeutic writing, Julia Cameron (1992) uses several metaphors and similes to try to communicate what her readers and students can gain from using her system of therapeutic writing.

The one I like the most is this:

“Writing in your journal, about the trials and tribulations of your life, is like building a bridge into a better future for you!”

And that is what we set out to do in our book: To provide you with a roadmap which will support you in building a bridge into a better future for yourself.

We used a more gradual approach than Julia Cameron. This approach helps you to begin with small steps; in an easy, simple way; and to slowly build up your ‘writing muscles’.

In the process, you will develop a great capacity to manage your thinking-feeling-perceiving more effectively; calmly; in a more self-regulated fashion. You will become more intuitive; more creative; and a more efficient and effective problem-solver. You will be less troubled by stress and strain, and more likely to succeed in achieving whatever goals you want to pursue!

And, perhaps most importantly, you will figure out how to process the traumatic events of this terrible year of Covid-19 challenges and anxieties.

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Health coach, Renata Taylor-Byrne That’s all for now.

Best wishes,

Renata

Renata Taylor-Byrne

Lifestyle & Health Coach-Counsellor

ABC Coaching and Counselling Services

ABC Bookstore Online UK

The Institute for E-CENT (Research and publishing)

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Endnotes

[1] Cameron, J. (1992) The Artist’s Way: A spiritual path to higher creativity. London: Souvenir Books.

[2] Perry, P. (2012) How to Stay Sane. London: Macmillan.

Books about emotional intelligence and trauma recovery

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Blog Post No.1 – 27^th February 2021

Books about Emotional Intelligence and Trauma Recovery

By Dr Jim Byrne

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Preamble about the Polyvagal Theory

Front cover 2, Dragons Trauma book June 2020 I have now resumed my work on my main Trauma Book – (Transforming Traumatic Dragons: How to recover from a history of trauma – using a whole body-brain-mind approach); and yesterday I wrote the intro to one of my appendices for that book. Here is an extract from that appendix:

“Appendix L: Some insights into the Polyvagal Theory of Dr Stephen Porges

By Jim Byrne, Updated 26^th February 2021

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Introduction

In this appendix, I want to introduce a brief set of insights into the Polyvagal theory, which is central to Dr Bessel van der Kolk’s approach to Developmental Trauma Therapy^[1]. The Polyvagal theory and Dr Van der Kolk’s approach to trauma have both influenced my own system of Interoceptive Processing of Intense Traumas.

The Polyvagal theory explains the ways in which the vagus nerve participates in the calming of bodily arousal, and also in face to face interpersonal communication as a form of affect (or emotion) regulation.

The bottom line of the Polyvagal system can be summarized like this: The autonomic nervous system has three levels of hierarchy:

– 1. Social engagement and connection, which regulates our levels of arousal to produce a sense of safety and protection. This operates through the ventral vagal complex (VVC), which regulates facial communication and tone of voice, heart rate, breathing, etc., (and which is highly developed in humans).

– 2. Nervous arousal (as in fight or flight), which is a survival-enhancing response to signs of threat or danger. This level is controlled by the limbic system, including the amygdala and hippocampus, and the hormonal system. (This system is found in all mammals, including humans).

– 3. Immobilization, or freeze/faint/closedown. This is also a survival-enhancing response of signs of extreme threat or danger, where the fight or flight response is not able to help. It is controlled by the dorsal vagal complex (DVC) which links to the heart and lungs, and also to the guts), The DVC is rooted in the reptilian brain (or brain stem, in humans).

The signals which trigger us into one or other of the three states described (in para 1, 2 and 3) above are not noticed consciously. Rather, they are sensed through a process which Stephen Porges labelled as ‘neuroception’, which means “detection without awareness”. (See Dana 2018)^[2].

Level 1 of this system – (social engagement and connection) – facilitates a process of co-regulation of emotions, whereby, when I encounter you, I help to set the level of arousal of your autonomic nervous system (by seeming to be, or seeming not to be, trustworthy [and encouraging you to feel safe or unsafe with me]). And you regulate the level of my autonomic nervous system by the way your nonverbal signals, of face and voice, strike me: (Do you seem safe and trustworthy, or not?!)

Front cover 2, Dragons Trauma book June 2020 But let us back up a little.

Let us begin with the human brain as a whole, and its many connections to parts of the body. …”

…End of extract.

For more, please click this link: Transforming Traumatic Dragons: How to recover from a history of trauma – using a whole body-brain-mind approach***

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A new book on Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence book temp cover I had become distracted from working on the trauma book (above) – which I am co-authoring with Renata Taylor-Byrne – because I wanted to begin work on my new book on Emotional Intelligence. Here’s an extract from the Introduction to that new book:

“Introduction

The first and most important aspect of emotional intelligence is self-understanding. To “know thyself” is an important goal; and to examine the kind of life you are leading – and the kind of like you really want – that it just as important.

Let me begin, here in this Introduction, to clarify some of the insights I’ve had over the years about the nature of a human individual, and how we are ‘wired up’.

Firstly, if you want to understand yourself fully, it would help if you knew how stressed your mother was when you were in her womb, because that is where the basic wiring of your brain began to be laid down.

But more importantly than that, it would help if you knew how securely attached your mother had been to her own mother when she was a baby, because she is most likely to have passed on to you the same kind of (secure or insecure) attachment style that she got from her mother.

The first five or six years of your life would have laid down some fundamentals of your personality, including the creation (in your own mind) of a life script, encouraged by your parents, siblings, neighbours, teachers, other relatives, etc. And that life script tells you (from subconscious levels of mind) what is going to happen to someone like you, as you progress through your life. (Don’t worry. You can rewrite this script, and I will show you how in Appendix A of this book).

Emotional intelligence book temp cover When you were born, you were essentially a little body, with a set of basic emotions (or ‘affects’), mostly a capacity to perceive and evaluate pleasure and pain; ‘good’ and ‘bad’ sensations. Those innate affects or simple emotions are then socialized into a set of ‘higher cognitive emotions’ by your daily encounters with your mother (or main carer), you father (in most cases), your other relatives, peers (as you begin to move around and begin to go to kindergarten or pre-school, etc.) From the beginning…”

…End of extract.

For more, please click this link: How to Improve Your Emotional Intelligence***

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Dr-Jim-Byrne8 (2) So now I have resumed working on the Transforming Dragons book, and hope to have it on sale by Easter.

Watch this space.

That’s all for now.

Best wishes,

Jim

Jim Byrne, Doctor of Counselling

ABC Bookstore Online

ABC Coaching and Counselling Services

Dr Jim’s Counselling and Psychotherapy Division

The Institute for E-CENT

Email: Dr Jim’s Counselling Division

Telephone: 44 1422 843 629

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[1] Van der Kolk, B. A. (2015). The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, mind, and body in the healing of trauma. New York: Viking.

[2] Dana, D. (2018) The Polyvagal Theory in Therapy: Engaging the Rhythm of Regulation. London: W. W. Norton & Company

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Books about trauma recovery

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Blog Post 2 – 25^th February 2021

How to process traumatic experiences from your past

Author: Jim Byrne

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Hi,

Front cover 2, Dragons Trauma book June 2020 Traumatic experiences are those which cannot easily be processed by the person to whom they occur. Most people are probably somewhat traumatized (or greatly traumatized) by their childhood experiences. One estimate – by Dr Felitti, in Dr van der Kolk’s book (The Body Keeps the Score) suggests that about 87% of Americans are somewhat traumatized by their Adverse Childhood Experiences!

In E-CENT counselling, we teach our clients to (slowly and gradually!) face up to their traumatic memories, which they have often been running away from; sometimes for decades. Because it is only by facing up to the traumatic experiences from our past – (slowly and gradually) – that we can reframe them, complete them, and allow them to shrink and fade:

“Shadows of the past sometimes contaminate the present and narrow down the future for all of us”, writes Muriel Shiffman. “The purpose of my self-therapy technique is to confront the past and put it in its place. Only then are we released to live the present more fully and grow into a richer future, able to use more of our true potential.” Because she was depressed, Muriel Shiffman “…began to use myself as a guinea pig in a fumbling attempt at self-therapy. … (Over time) I stumbled on the key to self-therapy: I learned to feel painful emotions I had been avoiding all my life. I explored attitudes and relationships that forced me to feel rage and grief and anxiety, and I did a great deal of crying. For two long years I unearthed a hidden part of my life, and suffered and then it suddenly dawned on me that my old, recurrent depression was gone. Somewhere along the way I had lost it, and it has never come back”.

Muriel Shiffman, Self-Therapy: Techniques for personal growth.

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Kindle Cover WriteANewLife (2) I have used writing therapy to heal my own childhood traumas, which has taken a number of years (on and off). I first wrote some articles and papers, and then combined them into a fictionalized autobiographical story – (Metal Dog – Long Road Home***) – plus a book about HOW TO complete your own traumatic experiences***, and one which describes the first two stories that I used therapeutically to heal my own heart and mind.

If you want to explore the skills of Writing Therapy, you could also look at my book: How to Write a New Life for Yourself.***

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I hope you find this information helpful.

Best wishes,

Jim

Dr-Jim-Byrne8 (2) Dr Jim Byrne

Doctor of Counselling,

ABC Bookstore Online

ABC Coaching and Counselling Services

Email: Dr Jim.***

Or Telephone: 01422 843 629 (from inside the UK)

Or 44 1422 843 629 (from outside the UK)

Overcoming childhood trauma

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Blog Post

Update on my Trauma Book…

Transforming Traumatic Dragons:

How to recover from a history of trauma – using a whole body-brain-mind approach

By Jim Byrne, Doctor of Counselling

12^th January 2021

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Introduction

Front cover 2, Dragons Trauma book June 2020 If my memory serves me well, I was confident that I could complete my book – How to recover from a history of trauma – before the end of 2020.

However, my plans were blown off course in August 2020, because I had a list of extensive reports to write for some of my couple’s therapy clients; which kept me busy up to Christmas Eve.

Now I am back working on that Trauma Book; and I hope to complete it by Easter at the latest. I know some individuals are patiently waiting for it.

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About the book…

Dr Jim's office I wrote this book to help individuals (who had traumatic experiences earlier in life) to be able to digest those traumas, and resolve any negative symptoms of having been traumatized.

This book is designed to help you

– to understand what trauma is;

– the various forms of post-traumatic stress;

– including the nature of complex childhood development trauma;

– and also, most importantly, to help you to recover from your traumatic past.

My major aim is to teach you how to slowly and cautiously process, or digest, old emotional traumas, so they can be healed.

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The ‘interoceptive’ detour

The body keeps the score, bessel van der kolk This book is a greatly expanded version of an earlier book I which I did not pay sufficient attention to the role of the body in the storing and restimulation of traumatic memories. I was woken up by Bessel van der Kolk’s book, ‘The Body Keeps the Score’, and so I have been adapting my own trauma therapy processes to include a good deal of body-based ‘interoceptive’ elements.

What is ‘Interoception’? “Interoceptive awareness is the awareness of inner body sensations, involving the sensory process of receiving, accessing and appraising internal bodily signals (Craig, 2009). Interoceptive awareness is fundamental to mindfulness-based approaches, involving focused present-moment awareness on internal sensations, most often introduced by attending to the sensations of the breath (inhaling and exhaling), or by engaging in a body scan. Interoception is recognized as a possible mechanism underlying mindfulness-based approaches (Farb et al., 2015; Garland, 2016), and learning interoceptive awareness skills may improve well-being and enhance capacity for emotion regulation (de Jong, et al., 2016; Price, et al., 2018).” From Price (2019).

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My three main processes

Window frame for Lifestyle couns book have developed three main processes to help you to reframe and digest your problematical feelings and experiences.

– The first – which is called the Basic Nine Windows Model – is intended to be a basic training in how to think-feel-perceive any problem, so that it shows up as being of manageable proportions, in terms of its impact on your emotions and your behavioural responses. The idea is to work on day to day problems of a non-traumatic nature, so that you do not overwhelm yourself. Gradually, you will build up your resilience muscles, and can confront and digest bigger and bigger problems. (This is described in Chapter 4).

– The second process – which is called Completing Your Experience – is intended to surface more difficult emotional memories, including some traumatic memories, and to reframe and digest them. (This is described in Chapter 5).

Front cover, Discounting our bodies – And the third and final process – which is called the Interoceptive^[1] Windows Model^[1] – is designed to involve your body, brain and mind in the processing of previously non-conscious traumatic memories. This includes reflecting upon your body’s sensations; controlled breathing; visual memories; writing down memories; eye movement desensitization^[2]; and physical movement/exertion. (This multi-element process is described in Chapter 6).

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Deviation

Dr-Jim-Byrne8 (2) I am enjoying the process of rewriting the current chapter – 6 – but I have had to deviate to develop an appendix on Stephen Porges’ Polyvagal Theory. This is an important part of the process of understanding how the body features in the processing of traumatic memories. The appendix begins like this:

Appendix L: Some insights into the Polyvagal Theory of Dr Stephen Porges

By Jim Byrne, 9^th January 2021

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Introduction

Front cover 2, Dragons Trauma book June 2020 In this appendix, I want to introduce a brief set of insights into the Polyvagal theory, which is central to Dr Bessel van der Kolk’s approach to Developmental Trauma Therapy; which has also influenced my own system of Interoceptive Processing of Intense Traumas.

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Before I look at some of the papers and books that gave rise to this system of understanding the human body-brain-mind, I want to present my own summary understanding of the polyvagal theory:

What is the polyvagal theory?

Here are some of the most important elements of the polyvagal theory:

…

Our physiological state is the substrate, or foundation, of our emotional states, attachment states, social connection capacity, and so on. And when we focus on the body as the foundation of the individual, we have also to consider the question: what are the best ways of treating the individual for unhelpful emotional states – such as panic and traumatic over-arousal – which are grounded in the body? Clearly, talk therapy has a role to play, but there has proved to be an array of physical interventions which calm down the body-brain-mind and emotions much more effectively than talk therapy, especially when the client is very anxious, stressed, or traumatized by extreme experiences.

The polyvagal theory also gives counsellors and therapists a new way to explain to the client why they are having overly-aroused reactions to situations that others take in their stride. For example: “Your body is overly aroused, sending signals to your brain that you are not safe!” The solution is to calm the body (because ‘the body’ is really shorthand for ‘a socialized-body-brain-mind’). One effect of this shift is that, instead of focusing on the client’s ‘presenting problem’, the counsellor can focus instead on the state of the client’s body (in terms of tension/relaxation). But this should not be taken too far, as some focus on the client’s story can be very helpful – for example, in the use of writing therapy to transform a story from one that causes over-arousal of the fight-flight response, to a revised story which triggers the calming effects of the parasympathetic nervous system.

It would be a mistake to go from the idea that “it’s all in the mind” to the equally simplistic idea that “it’s all in the body!”

The point has to be how to move the client’s body-brain-mind from a state of feeling “I’m in danger” to one in which they feel “I am feeling safe!”

Front cover 2, Dragons Trauma book June 2020 While the Polyvagal theory emphasizes how the client’s “body” responds to threats and dangers – including the recalling of, and flash backs to, traumatic experiences – we in E-CENT counselling always seek to keep the focus on the “body-brain-mind” of the client! We know that the body is primary, from the beginning of life; but the body-brain is shaped by socializing experiences which change how they are wired up. What we take from the Polyvagal theory is this: The triune brain is organized vertically, and the lowest level, the brainstem, has a huge influence over our survival strategies and survival responses to threats. But the brainstem and the limber system, in the midbrain, are changed by social experiences, including traumatizing social experiences, like rape, domestic violence, bullying, mugging, war, captivity, and so on. Thus, when a client has a deep trauma to be resolved, it is not going to work to engage their upper brain, which will be switched off by the dorsal vagal nerve… (And then the vagal nerve subdivision have to be explored!) …

…End of extract…

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Conclusion

Dr-Jim-Byrne8 (2) As we approach the middle of January, I am fairly confident that I can complete this book by the middle of March. That should allow enough time to get it published and on to Amazon for Easter.

I am excited by this development, if only because the extent of traumatic suffering has been greatly increased over the past ten months by the arrival of Covid-19, and all of its destructive effects on the lives of so many families and individuals.

For more information about this book, please see the revised page of information.***

Best wishes,

Jim

Jim Byrne

Doctor of Counselling

The ABC Bookstore Online

The E-CENT Institute

ABC Coaching and Counselling Services

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Email: Dr Jim’s Email Address***

Telephone: 01422 843 629 (from inside the UK)

Or: 44 1422 843 629 (from outside the UK)

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Footnotes

[1] Definition: “Interoceptive awareness is the awareness of inner body sensations, involving the sensory process of receiving, accessing and appraising internal bodily signals (Craig, 2009). Interoceptive awareness is fundamental to mindfulness-based approaches, involving focused present-moment awareness on internal sensations, most often introduced by attending to the sensations of the breath (inhaling and exhaling), or by engaging in a body scan. Interoception is recognized as a possible mechanism underlying mindfulness-based approaches (Farb et al., 2015; Garland, 2016), and learning interoceptive awareness skills may improve well-being and enhance capacity for emotion regulation (de Jong, et al., 2016; Price, et al., 2018).” From Price (2019).

[2] Eye Movement Desensitisation Reprocessing (EMDR) was developed in 1987 to help people overcome the effects of psychological trauma. Trauma is defined as something that happened that still affects you today. It is recommended by NICE (the UK standards agency for medical processes) as an effective individual treatment for PTSD and other forms of trauma.

[1] Price, C. (2019) ‘Research on Interoceptive Awareness Training: An innovative approach to develop awareness and body connection’. Psychology Today, online blog: URL: https://www.psychologytoday.com/ us/blog/mindful-body-awareness/ 201902/research-interoceptive-awareness-training. Accessed on 8^th June 2020.

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Craig, A. D. (2009). ‘How do you feel – now? The anterior insula and human awareness’. Nat Rev Neurosci, 10(1), 59-70.

De Jong M, Lazar SW, Hug K, et.el. (2016) Effects of Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy on Body Awareness in Patients with Chronic Pain and Comorbid Depression. Front. Psychol. 7:967. doi: 10.3389/ fpsyg. 2016.00967.

Farb, N., Daubenmier, J., Price, C., et.al. (2015). ‘Interoception, Contemplation, and Health’. Frontiers in Psychology, 6:763.

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